Day 27—ATL and The Varsity

So the question we had was: Can you make it to The Varsity with a six hour layover in Atlanta?  Like a lot of folks, we watch Diners, Drive-in, and Dives, and had seen The Varsity profiled, so we thought that sounded like a good destination.  (In hindsight, I wish we had called our friends John and Liz and had them take us to a really good chicken and waffle place). 

Day 27—Taxis & Tocumen

The sun rising over Panama Bay.

Our last day in Panama. 

I slept fairly well, and woke up at 4:30 a.m. (2:30 a.m. San Francisco time).  I sipped my last cup of mediocre Panamanian coffee, and then roused the family.  I took my last cold shower!  (EEEP! These are just not that fun, even in hot and muggy Panama). 

Day 26—Evil Car Rental Places and Albrook Mall

Last day in Panama, I tried not to be too giddy, and the fact that I hadn’t slept well since we got to the city helped.  We knew that  the day was going to be trying, because we needed to return the rental car to a specific location. The problem, besides all the one way streets in Panama, is that the address provided cannot be found by google maps, nor any other mapping programs available. So I had it narrowed down to a couple of streets, and I had studied the google maps for which direction the streets went, and I had written out a detailed map, but I knew how it was going to be, and I wasn’t looking forward to this challenge. 

(Our plan B was to stop a taxi, and pay them to lead us to the address).

Day 25—The Caribbean and Portobelo

Since this was the last day we had the rental car, we decided that this was the day that we needed to drive to the other side of Panama.  From the city, if you don’t make a wrong turn, it is about 45 minutes to the turn off for Portobello at Sabinitas,  and another 45 minutes to the town of Portobelo.  Easy peasy. 

Day 24—Back to Panama City

Panama City, Panama

Honestly, I thought this day would be full of interesting and funny stories of trying to find our way through the city, but I guess the third time is a charm.  Let me tell you, coming across the correct bridge into the city helps, and then just being able to recognize landmarks really helps.  It was a very successful trip to the apartment. 

Sean and I high-fived when we spotted Einstein’s head because we knew exactly where we were. 

We didn’t arrive in the city until almost 4 pm because we had taken our time packing up the villa and doing laundry (and of course we stopped at the mall for lunch again—No I did NOT eat at TACO BELL!)

Really, I swear. 

 I ate a chicken sandwich at Burger King.

Day 23—Paranoia & Santa Clara Beach

We woke up to a beautiful, cloud free day; perfect weather to go the beach.

Sean decided to go out and grab some batteries for my camera and some cash.  Emma, the teen, slept peacefully in the air-conditioned dark.  So I was reading my book, when I started hearing firecrackers: pop.pop.popopopop.  They were really close, closer than I’ve heard before.  But,  I didn’t think much about it. Then I hear a few more pops.  Silence.  And then a few more pops.  They seemed to be getting closer. 

Then all of sudden my brain said, “What if those aren’t fire-crackers? What if some crazed lunatic is systematically bursting into each villa, and killing everyone inside!? Maybe that is the sound of GUNFIRE!!!!” (What? It could happen.) So I decide I better check and see that the villa door is locked, because really? I don’t want to be a sitting duck.  So I jump off the couch, and run to the door.  I reach out and turn the lock (which was NOT LOCKED), and just as I do, someone is turning the knob from the outside.  I freak!  My heart starts to pound like crazy.

Day 22—“ No hay piscina durante una semana.”

Another typical rainy season day:  Overcast, heavy dark clouds on the horizon, the rumbling of a distant thunderstorm…and hot and muggy.

We headed out to have lunch because Sean has found this restaurant that serves good sausages (i.e. brats). I decided I was game, and as usual, we drag Emma kicking and screaming.  So we finally find the place, and I have to confess, it was too much of a dive for me.  I was like, “This is the Place?” and then Emma starts in (because to the restaurant’s credit it was packed with cars in front).  “I’m not going here! I can’t eat in front of people!There are too many people here!” Oh my god, she is so weird (really she’s not, she’s just 13, and incredibly self-conscious).  So after a minute or two of debating, we ended up going to... I will give everyone a second or two to vote on where we ended up eating…

Day 21—Rain? Yes, Hot Water? No…again.

Emma took this one.  I think it is pretty cool. 

Even though Emma and I were completely sick of Ameri-Mexi food,  Sean was not.  So he ran to the El Machetazo for some refried beans.  Unfortunately, he did not pay attention to where I had grabbed them.  So he headed to the regular bean section, and all that he can find is refried black beans. Perplexed,  he spots a kid stocking the shelves and he asks, “Frijoles, no negros?”

The guy points to the can, “Si, frijoles negros”

“No, NO negro, ahhh… frijoles…ahhh… fritos…. ummm…ala... Mexicano?”

Day 20—Really? Who shut the door?

Another lazy day: relaxing, yet a bit boring at the same time.  We spent time reading, swimming, watching some TV, surfing the net.  Ya know, same old, same old.  Today’s weather was overcast, with a slight breeze, so it was somewhat cooler.  So there we were just drifting through our day, when to power went out, again. 

Day 19—Taco Bell & Discovering El Machetazo

Anyone who knows me well, knows that I am not great at “vacationing”.  I am way too goal-oriented.  If I don’t accomplish something, I feel like I have wasted my day (and I don’t consider sitting around a pool, surfing the net, swimming, and waiting for cocktail hour really accomplishing anything).  

Day 18—La Policia in Gorgona

The other day when Sean was coming back from the grocery store, he walked in the Villa and told us he had just almost gotten a ticket. 

“What did you do?” Both Emma and I asked.

“Well, I don’t know.  I was just driving down that road to Gorgona, you know the one where they had the police check point the other day? Well, I looked in my rearview mirror and there was someone on a motorcycle with flashing blue lights.  I was trying to figure out what the protocol here  is.  Does he just want to pass me, or is he pulling me over?  So, I decided to pull over to a grassy area off the side of the road, and then the motorcycle slows down, slowly passes me, and that's when I realized, it was a pizza delivery motorcycle!”

Day 17—NY Bagel Shop & Back to Gorgona

This statue is very close to the NY Bagel shop. 

We woke up bright and early, and Sean was off to the bagel shop again.  (Those bagels rivaled Noah’s Bagels in Berkeley!)  We had a quick breakfast, and then packed up our few belonging, and hit the road.  It was Saturday Morning, so I figured the traffic would be lighter, and it was, but it still took us at least three circles before we could find our way out of the city.  I was so happy as we were crossing the Bridge of the America’s because I knew from here on out there were only two lanes of traffic in each directions, and if we just stayed the course, we would reach Gorgona in a little over an hour.  It was such a relief to reach the villa, and what actually felt familiar and home-like.  I think it took me all of 30 seconds to dump my bag, put on a swim suit and jump in the pool. “Ah, now this is a vacation!” I thought as the sound of the waves crashing, mixed with a  flock of parakeets flying above the pool. 

Day 16—The Attempt to see Casco Viejo

This is a painting in the apartment that I love.

I forgot to mention yesterday, that after relaxing for a bit, we decided we had better get our laundry dry.  They have a lovely stacking washer/dryer right next to the kitchen.  So we went  ahead and loaded  half the clothes into  the dryer, and started  it on the “more dry” setting.  After an hour or so, I went to check the clothes.  They were still very damp, and I realized: No heat.  NO HEAT! That must mean the gas isn’t working, here, in Panama City. Shit! I tried the kitchen tap.  No hot water.  Shower. Cold.  Damn. 

Day 15—A Trip to Panama City

Again no sunshine.  Sigh.  So we had a sluggishly slow start to the morning because, while it is not sunny, it is still hot and muggy.  (I may have mentioned this a time or two). We decided to do some laundry so we could go to the city with clean clothes, but…the propane ran out on the dryer.   Great!  We decided to haul two loads of our wet (but clean) laundry to the city to dry.  By this time (about 1:30 p.m.) we were all hungry and cranky, so even though we needed to stop by the store to get a few basic groceries, we decided to stop at KFC to eat.  Emma decided to be thoroughly disagreeable and threw a tantrum, because even I cannot eat at McDonalds again, and if she can’t have her pink slime and partially hydrogenated French fries, she doesn’t want ANYTHING! (It's KFC for goodness sake, it's not like we are asking her to eat a salad!)

What Emma would eat three times a day, every day,  if allowed.

Day 14—No Hot Water & Don Lee's Chinese Food

Today will be the fourth day without sun.  It hasn’t been crazy storming, but the sun just doesn’t make an appearance and it is still hot.  I am one who really likes the sun (even if I don’t necessarily handle the heat very well).  We also woke up to the water coming out of the faucet in a trickle again. That meant no hot water--again.  We had planned on going to an expat mixer, but without water for a shower, the prospects seemed dubious, because even without the sun, the humidity and consequent sweating are always a problem.  Plus, swimming does a number on my hair, and I don’t want to present myself as a sweaty, frizzy haired person to new people.  

Emma and I spent too much of the day playing with a virtual makeover program, and laughing ourselves silly, sweating all the while. 

Beautiful before picture.  This is where Emma wishes she was instead of Panama.  Poor deprived child.  

Day 13—Lunch in Capira at Delizz

Driving back from Punta Chame.

Before we came to Panama, Sean and I did a lot of research on this place, and followed a few blogs by expats living in Panama.  One in particular, was wonderful because it was of a couple, Terry and Clyde, who left Texas in September of last year, and Terry decided to blog about their transition in to Panamanian culture.  It is a very informative blog, and Terry has been great about blogging frequently.  Her blog is called “Along the Gringo Trail”.  So I know they have met other people like Sean and I, who are exploring the place for retirement, but I hesitated about emailing them.  It just seems a little weird to email someone who doesn't have the slightest idea of who you are, and you know quite a bit about them.  It would be like, “I’m going shopping in Beverly Hills, I think I’ll email Kim Kardasian and see if she would like to meet for lunch”.  OK, nothing like that really, but I thought it would be just as weird.  Then I decided to check out what Terry and Clyde had been up to while we were in Panama, and it turned out she had been to beach, literally in front of our beach villas.  I took that as a sign.  (Well as sign that this country is a pretty small place, and we would probably run into them sooner or later, so we may as well email them.) 

Day 12—Feral Cats & Punta Chame

Ok, don’t tell Sean but I may or may not have sent the following emails, in the morning, before any cocktails what so ever…

Day 11—Oh god, please not the electricity!

Notice the glass shards embedded in the wall.

This was a day that really doesn’t count, because I spent most of it recovering from the trauma of yesterday’s STARING and bumpy roads, doing laundry, and writing about Days 8 and 9.  So, it was like I wasn’t even here in the present, but like I time warped and was living in the past.  Also, I was reading a really entertaining book, which was totally addictive and funny. 

Then I thought I had a fever, and was convinced that I was dying of either Malaria or Dengue Fever. 

Day 10—The Proverbial Wall

Disclaimer: If you will be offended by an ungracious rant…DON’T READ THIS….This is venting. 

I promise, I am polite in public, and I am NOT AN UGLY AMERICAN! 

This is venting…on the internet, in English…OK, ‘nuff said…I warned you…

(and by the way, this is a toned down version).

Day 9—Water? No. Cuban Food? Yes.

The day after the storm, we woke up to a clear, beautiful, sunny sky.  Sean and I went for a morning swim, and then just putzed  around the condo. We both noticed that the water pressure was super low, and was only coming out of the kitchen tap at a trickle.  When Sean went to take a shower, there was no hot water, because to make on-demand water heaters work, there needs to be a certain level of water pressure. And then THE WATER STOPPED COMPLETELY! Just when I was feeling my most disgusting, sweaty, self…NO SHOWER!  Not even a cold one?  I’m sorry but another swim just wasn't going to cut it. I needed soap people!  Breakfast dishes languished in the heat, and I just tried to figure out how to brush my teeth. I ended up leaving fridge water out to warm up in a cup. It was like camping, but somehow a lot grosser.  So we gave up hanging out at the cottage, and headed to Chame for some Cuban food for lunch.  

Day 8—Phones, Crackers, and Rainy Season II

Which do you think is easier to buy? Hint: This is Panama…

Phone or Crackers?

Day 7—Gorgona Fish Market and Mangoes

So we finally scrounged up the nerve to go to the Fish Co-op. (When I say we, I mean me, because Sean really has no fear about these things.) Unfortunately we waited until about 11a.m. and the weather was super muggy and hot (have I mentioned that yet?)…the worst we’ve experience so far.  So I sprayed myself with sun screen, grabbed a towel (I also had every intention of taking a dip in the ocean), a camera, and some cash.  As we were on our way out,  Donna, the Mormon/Jehovah’s Witness,  accosted us and invited herself along.  The thing about Donna is she doesn’t stop talking.  Luckily, so far she is only regaling us with stories of her past.  She apparently has lived everywhere, and has a lot of stories to tell about it.  

Day 6—Exploring Coronado and the Westland Mall

I finally got up before sunrise.  It was lovely.  I snapped a few pictures of the sunrise.  We are facing South because of the way Panama curves, so from our condo, we will never get those spectacular sunrises or sunsets you will get in Hawaii.  But the fact that I can open our front door and jump into a pool to cool off whenever I want is worth the trade-off.  We ate scrambled eggs and bacon for breakfast, took a morning swim, and then got showered. 

Day 5—A Whole Lotta Lazin’ around!

View from our terrace.

We had a great night of sleep last night …NO MUSIC, thank god!!!  I feel like I am over sleeping every day, but who knows it could be a slight cold, or the fact that this balmy, sultry weather makes me feel as if I have had two glasses of wine at all times.  I can’t believe it is only 6:30pm, and the sun is setting. Pretty much year round, the sun rises at about 6 a.m. and sets at 6:30 p.m. ( No wonder these people think we are crazy, we eat when it is still light outside.) 

Day 4—Really? Until 3 am! Really? Oh, and Happy Father’s Day

So last night sucked.  I don’t know where it was coming from, but there was live, LOUD music playing until about 3 am! Luckily I slept through most of it, but when I woke at 2, it was sooo loud that I couldn’t fall back asleep.  Really? I am now very grateful for some our over-legislated lives in the US, because that kind of shit doesn’t happen there (OK it does, but it doesn’t last as long without cops intervening)! But here, it’s a never ending fiesta! Geez…Despite that annoying interlude, I woke up early and made coffee.  There was a tiny bit of sun trying to squeeze through the clouds.  You could tell it was going to be a much nicer day.  I sat on the patio, and took in the beauty that is Panama.  The crashing sound of the waves, the different calls of birds, and the love and affection of the sweetest, ugliest, feral cat I have ever seen.  The land lord warned us not to feed this cat, but he is beginning to tug at the heartstrings.  He looks like a shaved, Paleo Fritz.  Emma has named him Meow Mix.

Day 3—The Rainy Season & Where is the Half & Half?

They don’t call it the rainy season for nuthin’! We woke to really low skies and eminent rain.  My instinct: HUNKER DOWN! And boy did it pour, and pour, and pour! While this was great for a relaxing day, it was really kind of claustrophobic and boring, and I think we started to get on each other’s nerves.  Sean was kind enough to make the half & half run, only to discover that half and half does not exist in Panama.  So he chose Leche (regular milk) and just in case, condensed milk in a carton.  Perplexed, I opted for the milk, and thus my coffee was disappointing.

Day 2—Driving in Panama City

We woke up to a beautiful sunny day in Panama City.  We had a view of the downtown skyline, and of the Pacific Ocean. 

The View from our Marriott window

Day 1—I hate flying! June 14th 2012

Well here we are, flying over somewhere east of Modesto.  I see a tiny bit of unmelted snow patches.  We are on our way to Atlanta, GA where we will be catching a connecting flight to Panama City, Panama.

Of course, because we are so cheap, our flight took off at 6 a.m., which means the alarm was set for 3 a.m.  And, of course (because this NEVER  happens, unless I need to sleep!), the dog had some sort of gastro-intestinal emergency at 12:30 a.m., which means after I let him out to do his business,  I tossed and turned until 2:30 am, finally got up, and now I feel like a sleepy, disoriented, stuffed sausage.  I hate flying.  I spend the entire flight vacillating between complete boredom and claustrophobia  to complete terror should we hit any turbulence. 

And seriously, why do they allow people to put their seats back! Like the 12” in front of my face isn’t breath sucking as it is, now I have 8”!!! I am not a good traveler.  I love exotic destinations, and once the horrible travel day is over, I completely enjoy myself (as long as I have my 3 pillows, and my coffee mug from home).  My husband thinks I am high maintenance, but hey, I do all the planning, the packing, and the thinking.  All he needs to do is schlep some bags, and try not to irritate me on travel day! After that I love exploring new places (and my husband!).